


Prove it

by Dawntherabbit



Category: Shameless (US)
Genre: Fluff and Smut, M/M
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2019-12-27
Updated: 2019-12-27
Packaged: 2021-02-26 06:12:14
Rating: Mature
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 5
Words: 10,483
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/21988573
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Dawntherabbit/pseuds/Dawntherabbit
Summary: Ian and Mickey work through their doubts on the route to a better relationship.
Relationships: Ian Gallagher & Mickey Milkovich, Ian Gallagher/Mickey Milkovich
Comments: 16
Kudos: 69





	1. Chapter 1

Mickey sprawled out on the big bed. His toes curled in the sheets. Their new room. Their little bit of home. No one checking on them at all hours, no little kids walking in and out, privacy. Jesus fuck finally. 

"Mickey living here now? " He heard the question echo from downstairs. 

'What kind of stupid fucking question is that?' He thought. He sat up trying to catch the muffled conversation. 

Truthfully, they needed someplace fresh and new. A new place would be great but with $0 to his name and his paycheck just covering the bus fair that was not going to happen anytime soon. He couldn't imagine what kind of shitholes they would find. Ian didn't need to live in a shithole. This shithole at least had his family, it was overall clean, and has hot water.

He reached up and cracked the window letting the crisp morning breeze fill the room. The air gave him some life, shocking his system just enough to keep him awake a bit longer. Just until Ian brought his 6 foot ass upstairs. 

He wondered where Ian was, probably taking his meds, he had to eat with them, take them at the ass crack of dawn or they didnt work right. 

The warmth of the blankets surrounded him, he pulled Ian's pillow in closer, wrapping himself around it. Maybe he should just close his eyes, just for a little bit.

He heard the footsteps coming up the stairs. Heavy boots and a long stride.  
The door creaked open and the footsteps approached. 

One of his eyes half opened to the redhead walking over to him. He watched him intently.  
Ian threw off his shirt, gave him a sleepy smile, and pulled the pillow out from under him. 

Mickey let out a small grunt of disapproval.

Ian's weight made the bed dip. Quickly he put Mickey's leg over his hip and arm over his neck. The exact position of the pillow.

"Where were you?" Mickey quietly asked. 

Ian pressed against his cheek giving him soft kisses. His breath smelled like mint. His lips were cold, like he was outside for a long time.

"I just got off work, had to take my meds. You replace me with that pillow already?" Their noses brushed together. 

He couldnt help but smile."Maybe."

He felt his body being rotated, strong arms slowly moved him to his back. Raising an eyebrow he watched as Ian climbed ontop of him. There was no urgency behind his movements. No lust. Just someone seeking comfort. 

Ian's eyes darted around his face falling on his eyes. He looked long and hard at Mickey, studying him. Searching.

What's that look for? He thought.

"Are you tired-?" Ian stuttered. Mickey rubbed his arms encouragingly. Ian's face dropped.

"The suns not even up you tell me." Ian gave him an odd look." Of course I'm tired." He smiled patiently waiting for answers.

"No that's not what I meant..," Ian fidgeted "-of me."

"Never." He instinctively said. He didn't even have to think about the answer. 

"You dont even-" Sorrow filled Ian's face. Like he was expecting something terrible to happen, like Mickey was hiding something. 

He was probably late taking his meds, sometimes it would trigger depression until his current dose caught up. If he just got home he was at least a few hours late. 

"Never." He reassured him. "I'll never leave." He rubbed small circles into his arms. "I'll never get tired of you. I'll never stop loving you." He promised.

Ian half smiled pressing their lips together in a exhausted kiss. Mickey wrapped his arms around him in a reassuring embrace. Ian pressed his body weighed down, relaxing fully ontop of him. He buried in face into Mickey's neck. 

He would never get tired of this, even if they spent everyday fighting he would prefer it to peaceful silence. Nothing is really worth anything without Ian next to him. He learned that lesson too many times. 

Ian rolled from on top of him to the side of him as Mickey lightly scratched his head in an attempt to calm him. 

Reaching in his pocket he pulled out Ian's phone. The display screen was Mickey kissing his cheek, a big smile spread across their faces. They were cute all ruffled up, so happy. It was taken the day they were both free from the can, after some 'I miss you' sex.

He set his alarm 'everyday 4:30 am' Title: take your meds bitch. He tossed the phone over to the dresser.

Ian was out, his heavy breaths filled the room. The sound alone made Mickey's eyes get heavy, it was like his own personal lullaby.

Ian's mind would sometimes go 100 mph and sometimes it got dark, even with his medication. Sometimes it made his hands shake or his face get red, sometimes he did stupid shit to make it stop. 

They both had things they wanted to keep away. They both had things that didn't need words or explanations for. That was just life, especially growing up here.

"I love you." He whispered to the sleeping man. Ian looked so fragile, he wanted to wrap around him, he wanted to kill anything that would dare touch him.

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

Ian told him about his old boyfriends, How he had sex with a woman, he had to scrub his skin raw to get rid of her scent. Had to block out the images because he wanted to vomit the whole time.  
'How did you do it??'

He slept with a girl to get out of prision. She was nice, good looking, even funny. He genuinely enjoyed her company. They became friends before he schemed his way to get out, feigning love. Tell her all the things he wished were said to him. He slept with plenty of girls his body didn't care much once his mind drifted.  
In the end he half considered staying at hers for a while. Someone that he could laugh with, play cards with, someone that would risk something for him.

Ian carefully listened to the confession not saying a word.  
'She work here anymore?'  
'Nah they sent her to get retrained or some shit.'

Ian bottomed for some guy a few times. He remembered him mentioning it on the way to Mexico.  
'What's it like for you?' Ian asked.  
'Like rolling... but better.' He replied. It made him whole, he should have said, but he didn't want to sound like a damn girl. 

'Wasnt like that for me...' he didn't know what to say. Sorry that you let some guy pressure you into doing something you didnt want to do, but saying that wouldn't be helpful, so instead he just said 'You dont have to do it ever again.' While wanting to rip the guys face off.

They both had to deny themself something to get where they needed to go. Jsing their bodies or telling lies.

Ian was always trying to become what other people wanted, convincing himself it was what he wanted too. Together they could just be. No hiding, no pressure, no lies. Together they could be free... 

Images morphed to Mickey alone in Mexico after crossing.. pulling over to cry alone in his fucked up car and dress. He slept in his car that night and thought about turning around. For what? Jail? He got deliriously drunk, fucked a bunch of prostitutes with Ian's money, then got his shit together to join the cartel. 

He wasn't empty. He was full of fucking rage. It made him one hell of a drug dealer which moved him up in ranks pretty quick. He wasn't afraid to pull a gun on anyone and he wasnt really afraid of getting shot. Why not, he use to think. 

It was there. The anger. The heartbreak. It became a part of him in a way, tried to close him off again. Every day it faded little by little but he held onto the very last sliver keeping that doubt always in the back of his mind.

What if Ian went with him. Wouldn't they be happy on a beach somewhere? 

~~~~~

"Hey hey it was only a dream." Ian shook him awake

"Wha...what?" The room was bright as hell, he didnt realize he was sleeping. 

"You were yelling and kicking in your sleep. You also were speaking spanish. I picked up some words 'fucking bitch' is all I got."

"I was dreaming about a few hot half naked women."

"Wow that explains why you were so distressed. " he chuckled. "Did they threaten you with a blowjob?"

He didn't have the energy to even fake laugh.

Ian got up and threw his shirt on. His meds must have kicked in, he seemed like his normal cheery self.  
He kept eyeing Mickey. Of course Ian knew he was lying. 

"Wait." He said sternly."just... sit here a minute."

Ian immediately dropped what he was doing, a shoe fell to the floor. He climbed into bed so that they were face to face.

Mickey avoided eye contact while he braced himself for what he was about to say.  
"Just... I had a dream where you ran off." It was more like a nightmare of a memory. 

Ian smiled "you know I'm not going-"

"No..no i fucking don't," Mickey sat up ready to fight. "You ask if I'm tired of you, no. But you always run..." he pushed his hair back, " I'm tired of wondering if you're going to leave again."  
With his confession he started feeling much better. Much calmer.

Ian sat up and put a hand on Mickeys chest. "I love you mickey.. I'm not going anywhere." 

"Prove it."

"Prove it how?" His eyebrows furrowed together. 

"Well I guess that's your problem to figure out." He went from angry to excited. The feelings from the dream faded just as quickly as it overtook him. He realized he was overreacting.  
Sure his fears existed but it's not really a reason to attack the guy. "Then you can ask me to do something..if you convince me."

"Oh so it's like a game. What do I win?"  
Ian's eyebrow shot up, happy at the change of tone.

Ian smirked. Both of his hands landed on Mickey's thighs. 

"What do you want?" He tried to be nonchalant about Ian's hands rubbing up and down his thighs, causing the fabric in his shorts to become uncomfortably tight. Tried to ignore that glint in his eye.

"Dont know yet." Ian said with a grand smile.

He could tell Ian had something in mind he just didnt want to say it. It was probably embarrassing, or maybe it was horribly mean, he hoped it was sexual. Ian could be very creative.

"Could it be anything?" Ian genuinely asked, "and you would agree to it?"

"Yes." Mickey said more confused than ever. Maybe he would regret this.

"How will I know if I won?" 

Mickey thought. Maybe when the dreams stop coming... maybe when he doesn't frantically call his phone the second hes late coming home. "I'll let you know." He simply said.

"Can I start proving it to you now?"

"..sure"

Ian pushed him flat on his back in one swift motion. He liked where this was headed.

His mouth rapidly kissed down his body landing on his hip where the feeling tickled him. 

"Ahh stop!" He laughed. 

"Stop what?" He furiously kissed at his hip making him jump and squirm. 

"Iiiiiannnnn," he whined thrashing around. Ian easily restrained him, keeping him from running away. It was thrilling.

"If it tickles so much why are you hard?"  
A chill went though his body.

"If I'm so hard why is your mouth all the way over there?"

Ian's hands splayed out nudging his pants down just enough to set him free. 

A warm wet mouth soon filled him with euphoria. Maybe he would enjoy this game.


	2. Chapter 2

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> It gets a bit smutty

"Where are we going?"

"Aren't you hungry?"

Ian grabbed Mickey's hand dragging him down the sidewalk. The sun warmed his face despite the cold breeze.

It felt strange but at the same time it was invigorating. The simple act of holding hands in public made his heart pound. His whole face burned into a blush as Ian proudly paraded them both down the street. He didn't protest at the slight tug on his arm, it was refreshing to see Ian so excited.

After a while Ian slowed down, now walking side by side he threw an arm over Mickey's shoulders. This is mine. He liked to imagine it meant. 

They ended up at a taco stand sitting on a bench outside while Ian ordered them some chicken tacos and french fries.

The smell of slow roasting pork and quick fried beef filled the whole corner. He devoured the first taco in 20 seconds flat.

His mouth was stuffed to the brim, he didn't realize he was so damn hungry, Ian laughed at the sight. Why did he have to be so goddamn cute. He tried to stifle a smile.

"Thanks for dragging me out, these are fucking amazing." Mickey swallowed hard. 

"Kinda selfishly wanted to show you off." Ian admitted grabbing a few fries.

"You wanted to show me off?" He snorted. "Must be my ripped shirt and dirty shoes?"

"The guys at the taco truck thought I was making you up." 

"Why would you have to make up a boyfriend." You talk about me?, he thought. "You talking shit about me gallagher?" 

"You know it." Ian swallowed down the last fries. 

They ended up at the Alibi after finishing too many tacos to count.   
After surfing prision food, real food with actual nutrition made him buzz...  
Or maybe it was the inflated ego. 

Ian downed shots like a champ. Mickeys face twisted with the burn. He hadn't drank in a while, being in prision and all. His liver was probably like new. What a shame, he thought. 

"I'm gunna beat your ass at pool." Ian proclaimed.

"Fuck you, put $20 down."

After Ian somehow cheated they ended up almost falling over in a booth to watch the game. 

"You come here often?" Ian walked over with two clear shots. 

"You smell like tequilla." He slurred 

"No shit" ian took his shot, Mickey followed suit somehow welcoming the burn that slid down his throat.

Ian slung his leg over Mickey's lap.   
"You wanna get outta here, I dont live too far." He played.

"What a coincidence, me either. " Mickey went along with it, it was actually kinda fun.

Ian leaned in close, his eyes narrowed. How could anyone ever deny him anything looking like that? His eyes darted to all the freckles that framed his face. His green eyes, soft lips...

"Think you can handle all of this?" Ian giggled.   
The sound made his heart flutter.

Ian was practically on his lap. He couldnt keep his hands from exploring. Up Ian's shirt, ghosting his belt line. The smooth skin on his neck.

Ian's mouth met his neck giving him little nips.   
In the dark corner of the booth he didn't care. His head was swimming, his heart was doing double time. Ian could have started stripping right there and he wouldn't have cared. 

Mickey shove his hand between Ian's legs grabbing at what he so desperately wanted. Ian wasnt even hard while Mickey sat there practically rutting against him. How unfair.

Ian helped Mickey up, pulling him up effortlessly. They waved to Kev and V as Ian took Mickey's hand and left. The cold air wasn't a match for the warmth of alcohol. 

Ian crashed into him as soon as the bar door slammed shut. His back was pushed into the brick wall, their mouth feverishly kissing. Pushing and pulling at anything he could grip

The taste of lime and salt filled his mouth. It burned a bit but he welcomed it. Anything Ian had to offer he would gladly take. 

Ian's hands felt like they covered his whole body. He felt safe, secure, all consumed. His hands grabbed his hips, pulling him in. His tounge rolled around his mouth. His hardness pressed to Ian's hip while Ian forced him still, creating friction with his small movements.

If his hands weren't busy weaving through his fire hair they would be tearing off his clothes. He didnt care if a window was tight next to them, he need this he felt like he couldn't breath without it.

He was all consumed with need. Not just the want to get off but a need to be completely taken. 

Shamelessly he moaned into Ian's mouth. His hips fought against Ian's hands as he searched for more friction.His whole body squirmed fighting for more.

Unabashed he moaned again against Ian's rough kiss. His teeth grazed Ian's bottom lip.

Ian visibly shivered, it was nice to know he wasn't the only one desperate. 

"That bad?" Ian said between kisses, he could hear the smile in his voice. He felt like protesting, saying something smart, but his body was melted and he wanted nothing more than to give in completely.

Ian pushed himself flush against Mickeys body. 

"Ian." Was all he could get out his mouth and even then it sounded like a plea. He was dying, he would beg, anything to sooth this burning in his veins.

Ian quickly pulled away looking up and down the street, grasping his hand and pulling him in an alleyway far into the shadows. 

Ian spun him around, chest against the wall. It was cold. His hands gripped at the rough brick steadying himself.

A hand smacked his ass. He sucked in a sharp breath, fuck it felt great. It clawed at him, the fire. He needed more.

"Yea?" 

Ian ripped his pants down giving him another smack. 

"Fucking get on me."

Quickly Ian pushed into him. He bit down on his hands stifling a whine that half escaped.   
Ian angled him self just the right way. He knew Mickey's body so well, if he wanted him to he could make him cum with just a few touches.

He was deep and slow, and it was nice. It stifled the need he had calming him down. 

He wanted to say all the things he felt, wanted to shout, he couldn't find the words. How can you explain the way someone makes you feel while they give you everything you've ever wanted.  
While someone is inside of you, completing you, taking care of you. He wanted this forever. He wanted Ian forever.   
He said this often in his head unable to speak the words into existence. I love you was close enough right? 

What came out was incoherent mumbles as he felt his release coming quickly. Would he beg? He didn't know what for, release? Love? The promise of forever? 

Mickey rested his face on his arm while he pushed back, it was hard and rough and un cordinated. He was so close his other hand gripped himself, giving himself the last few tugs he needed.   
"Fuck. Me. Harder. " he demanded. 

His demand was met with hard thrusts pushing him over the edge. 

He ignited spilling on the brick wall, a pulsing from inside of him. A stillness that followed met by smiles and kisses and those fucking hands. 

His ache stopped, the flame soothed. His whole body felt right, every nerve calmed. Maybe this was peace. Only coming from hard rough sex, bricks, and cum. He almost laughed at the thought. Inner peace. Instead of going to some Buddhist temple on the moutains find some guy and let him fuck you behind a bar in an alley that smells like piss.  
He couldn't hold it in, he laughed. 

Ian nuzzled into the back of his neck, inhaling him. "Was that funny?" 

"So what if it was, you gunna shut me up?"

Ian nibbled on the back of his neck effectively doing just that.

He let out the biggest sigh as Ian took care of him. Pulling up his pants.  
The clink clink of belts being fastened filled the dark silent alley way. Their hands still were all over eachother. 

Ian kissed him all over, moving his messy hair out of his face. He smiled wide, like he does to remind Mickey why he fell in love with him. He looked into his eyes as if he was saying some thing. 

"What? He breathed

"I love you." Ian smiled zipping up his jacket.

Fuck he was done for.


	3. Chapter 3

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Seems my italics have dissapeared so sorry about that, I have no idea how to fix it so if anyone has suggestions please let me know. 
> 
> In my universe (and the current writers) yev doesn't exist. 
> 
> Mickey wants Ian to prove his love to him. What a better way to do that than to show the world and his family that he is here to stay.

Ian probably wants coffee, Mickey thought heading downstairs.

Mickey made him a mocha with Debbie's fancy new machine. He watched her do it once or twixe6, it didn't look too hard. He pushes it around clicking all the buttons until it finally started making a noise. 

Footsteps behind him made him spin around and jump.  
"Jesus!"

"You can use it but if you break it I expect a new one," she inconspicuously threw a knife in the sink. "You better clean it too!"

He quickly nodded, when did Ian's little sister grow up? Threatening him with knifes and shit.  
She sat back on the counter, her demeanor completely changing as Franny ran up to her asking for grapes.  
He found some in the fridge and handed over the bag "Thanks uncle Mickey!" She said in an overly sweet voice to her daughter. 

Uncle Mickey? 

'What the fuck is this button?' He asked about half a million times. 

"First the green twice, then fill the milk, then press the red one." Debbie pointed out everything for him even telling him how to make cold coffee. 

He pulled out three cups filling each one carefully. He even put the chocolate surgery shit in a tight swirl on top. He looked for the best one and out it to the side for Ian.

He handed one to Debbie. She quickly thanked him sitting at the table to feed her daughter happily sipping her drink.

He took Ian's cup and sprinkled some cinnamon on top. It looked amazing.

Ian likes that kind of shit. Sugar coated, fluffed up, pretty shit. Like sunsets. Cute puppies. He even occassionally wore makeup.

He looked down at his socks riddled with holes, his shirt that needed to be washed, and his small thick build. Nothing pretty about him. Maybe Ian needed glasses. Maybe he could steal some socks later. He sighed

"Coffee asshole!" He called upstairs.

Lip walked in the room. "Well you two are romantic. Asshole, what a beautiful pet name." he joked.  
Ian playfully pushed him in the shoulder on his way down. 

"At least it's not baby mama." He laughed. 

"Nothing wrong with being a baby mama." debbie added picking up Franny rushing out the door. 

"Hey do you work today, I need someone to watch fred." Lip directed the question to Ian.

"I dont work!" Ian happily said almost jumping  
He took the coffee from mickey looking down at the chocolate swirl. His eyes lit up noticing the precise little creation he made. "We can watch him!" 

"We?" Mickey interjected. Sipping on his own mocha, damn that was good. 

Lip and Mickey shared the same look. 

"You're not going to watch your nephew?" Ian leaned on the counter giving him a side eye sipping on his cup. "This is really good." He smiled into his cup.

Mickeys eyebrows raised up to his hairline. What's up with everyone? "Did I miss something?" 

Lip glanced over again, might as well pull out the popcorn. "Should I go or-"

"Com'on we've been together for years and years, we are basically family. Uncle Mickey has a nice ring." 

Lip was standing against the fridge with a big fucking grin watching Mickeys fuse about to pop.

If Ian meant that as a romantic line he was flying off the rails. 

"Last time I fucking checked I was in prision for a handful of those years and you dated other people, I never got that MeHm -OH." He exaggerated each syllable with his hands. 

He took a deep calming breath. "Can we talk about this later I made you coffee I didnt think it would lead to me being reminded of all the guys you use to fu-." 

"I'm going to go."Lip made his escape to the livingroom as things got heated. 

Ian walked over to him looking as happy as a clam while he was fuming. 

"Thanks for the coffee." Ian said backing him against the counter. His eyes narrowed, that fucking smirk, even his fucking voice...  
His heart rate evened out when ian pulled him over and stroked his hair. He could feel the warmth radiating from his skin. "Sorry if I made you mad but-"  
Ian's lightly pushed their lips together, the soft sweet taste of coffee on his lips. "- to me you are family."  
Ian's hands rubbed up and down mickeys shoulders.

"I dont mind watching the kid...if you have to piss or something. " Mickey sighed, somehow Ian was holding him now, against his chest. 

They stood there for a while. It felt way too intimate to be done in the middle of the kitchen but at the same time it was freeing. 

Why shouldnt he be able to hug his boyfriend on the middle of the kitchen? Why shouldn't he be able to hold his hand outside... why was he mad again? Because everyone was accepting him? He was being stupid.

"I'll watch him and Mickey will hold if him if I have to shit or something. " he said to lip, they went to sit on the couch. He needed to smoke he was so on edge lately.

"You sure?" Lip looked skeptically between them.

"Yes!" Ian said confidently. 

Tami brought in Fred, all wrapped up cooing.He was a cute kid. He looked more like Tami than lip.  
Ian took him in his arms and his whole face lit up. 

Ian really did love kids. Always waved and smiled at babies. He actually loved taking care of hisnypunger siblings and just people in general. EMT work suited him well.

He smoked a joint upstairs while he could hear Ian singing loudly downstairs.  
"Baby shark do do.." 

His body tingled with the high, his head felt nice and his arms a little heavy. 

He walked quietly down the stairs watching the red head dance around the room with Fred in his arms. He was so natural with him.

"Are you sleepy little fred? I am too. If I put you down will you nap for me?" 

Ian lowered the child in a off white bassinet. He leaned over the side glancing at the kid "Goodnight." Ian whispered. The kid was out cold.

"Hey" mickey said. 

Ian shushed him sinking into the couch.

"I'm so tired Mick." 

Ian slung an arm over him as he sat on the couch cuddling up beside him. 

"You ever want a kid?" He blurted out.  
Ian opened his mouth and shut it. His face softened.

"How much did you smoke?" Amused, Ian smiled, his eyes half closed.

"I asked you a question." Mickey insisted. He sunk back into the couch. Damn that felt nice. He decided to use Ian's chest as a pillow.

What show is this? Some cartoon danced around the screen. 

"Yea some day." Ian answered stroking Mickey's hair with one hand. They were tangled together on the couch, Mickey's ear to Ian's heartbeat. 

"With me?" He blurted out again.

"Yeah." Ian let out a chuckle. 

In prision he mentioned kids, it was a passing comment. He didn't know Ian actually thought about stuff like this. 

"Do you?" Ian's hand stop stroking his hair. "Do you want a kid with me?"

He hadn't thought about it much. He had way too much going on. The cartel, prison, corrupt po's. It was always one thing after another. 

Could they even have a kid with a life this hectic? Would it even be fair?

"I dont know. I haven't thought about it much." He honestly said.

Lip could do it... Debbie... they seem to be doing okay. Their kids are great even with all the bullshit that they went through. 

"Maybe one day." Mickey relaxed onto ian more. He was so warm, he was so heavy. Ian grounded him, he was solid and real. With his head floating up in space it was nice to have someone tie him back down to earth.

"So we steal one or I can knock someone up." Ian joked. 

Mickey silently grabbed his hand. He played with Ian's fingers. "A little kid that looked like you wouldn't be so bad." 

"I'm not fucking a girl." Ian said adamantly. His head shook as if to shake away memories. 

"Turkey baster." Mickey suggested laughing.

They cuddled on the couch watching the cartoon surprisingly he wanted to know how the bear underwater saved the octopus without being eaten by the shark. Of course he wouldn't be eaten it was a cartoon... or would he? 

He looked up. Ian's eyes were shut tight, his heart was slow and even. The show played on, the house was dead quiet something that he never experienced before. It was kind of eerie.  
The bear pushed a rock off of the sea creature and became friends with the shark. Everyone lived happily every after, the end.  
What a shit cartoon.

The baby started fussing. Carefully he got up not wanting to wake Ian. He realized how sober he was. His neck ached from being in the strange position for so long. He gave it a hard turn cracking it. 

The small child looked up at him. His fussing stopped when Mickeys shadow covered the bassinet. Was the kid scared or curious? He didn't want to scare the thing. 

Awkward at first, he held Freddy against his chest bouncing him. The baby briefly smiled before his face turned a light shade of red, it twisted into discomfort. Oh shit. Fred let out a loud wail. 

Food, babies love food. 

With one arm plastering the baby to his chest the other easily found a bottle in the mostly empty fridge. 

His chubby cheeks poofed out while he was sucking on the bottle, his once teary eyes were now big round bright things staring up at him. The baby reached up to him with his small hand patting his chest.

"You're not so bad." He smiled. Uncle Mickey.

After the bottle was empty he sat on the couch holding the baby up in his arms. He looked over at the sleeping Ian and looked at the door. He made a big silly face twisting out his lips and crossing his eyes.  
Freddy laughed hysterically. He began to rapidly babble with smiles and coos. 

"I know I'm fucking funny." He answered.

He talked to Fred in a hushed tone, commenting about the show and how dumb the shark was to not eat the bear. He would never have a chance to ear a bear again!

Fred let out a squeaky toothless yawn listening intently to what he was saying. 

Lip burst in the door, holding boxes. He loudly dumped them on the table. Immediately he saw Mickey rocking Fred. A smile filled his face.

"Hey freddy!" He whispered walking over. 

Carefully he passed over the child. The little ball of warmth back into his fathers arms. The kid stared at Mickey with those big bright eyes.

"Ian was sleeping so I just took over for about an hour. " Mickey explained.

"Oh yea yea. Thanks man." Lip nodded. He looked like he was going to say something more but decided not to. "Ahh watching octonauts?" 

"Not really my taste" he joked "but when that shark came it got interesting."

Lip sat in the recliner holding Fred. Mickey sat on the couch next to the sleeping Ian. The couch squeeked when he sat down startling Ian awake.

Ian briefly opened his eyes, lazily reaching out to Mickey. He put his head in Mickeys lap squeezing one of his thighs. He mumbled something 'hey sexy' or 'hey idiot' it was hard to tell. Ian let out a long sigh making noise while he stretched over Mickeys lap. 

The baby cooed and babbled loudly.  
"Mm mick...? Fred!" He shot up blinking rapidly trying to focus his eyes.

"Lips back." 

"Heard you were sleeping on the job." Lip joked. 

Ian turned to lip and the baby visibly relaxing when he noticed the baby was safe.  
His back pushed against Mickey while stretching more, like he didn't weight 200 pounds. 

"He ate 4 times, I changed 5 diapers, and his nap started at 3pm." 

"He ate 5 times because i just fed him." Mickey quickly added.

Ian beemed at him squeezing his hand. He leaned back turning to him.  
"Let have babies." He whispered against his cheek.

"Shut the fuck up." He smiled, speaking in a whisper.

Lip watched tv but he caught him glancing over every so often. 

"Pulp fiction isnt exactly baby TV." He said trying to break the weird feeling in his gut. 

"He wont remember. " lip assured. 

He didn't know how it happened but Ian was practically sitting in his lap. He was completely curled around him. It didn't feel awkward or heavy, he wondered how much they actually sat like this, he never really noticed.  
He became hyper aware at every glance Lip gave them.

Was he judging them? He seemed pretty cool. Didn't ask him for rent this time around.  
He thought a bit harder as Ian got up to grab some chips. 

He might just be watching out for his brother. I mean they lived together but lip never really saw them 'together together.' He tried to ignore his next glance.

Ian held one orange BBQ chip to his lips popping one on his mouth. 

He found comfort in how easily they fit together. How easily the moved and worked around eachother.  
Ian squeezed in the space between his limbs, just where he belonged. This is where he belonged.  
When did this house start feeling like home to him?


	4. Chapter 4

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Jealous Mickey. Guilty Mickey. Stressed and exhausted Ian. Mickey sees that hes not the only one with problems. Mentions of cocain.

Ian was late. 

Hours and hours late. 

He was suppose to be off in the evening, even picked them up some dinner. When that came and went he figured he was just working late. When he finally layed down for bed he stared at the walls wide awake. The silence was suffocating. 

He called, he texted, he left voicemails.' Why does no one in this fucking house keep track of Ian?', he thought.

His mind skipped to all the places he could be. Half way around the country, went home with some dude, dead. He couldnt handle it, he was going crazy. 

He called one last time and he heard a faint faint ring in the closet.  
That dumbass left his phone....  
It sat under a pile of jackets happily buzzing with the screen lighting up. It looked like it fell while he was rummaging for his work uniform.

'Well fuck.'

He was going to low jack him this time. Get a fucking necklace or some shit with built in GPS . Maybe he would embed it in his skin.

He jumped out of bed throwing on the thickest jacket he had. He imagined all of the things he would yell. He would leave and Ian would beg him to stay and he would go to prision for killing whoever the fuck was in bed with him.  
Or he would be on the side of the road somewhere.... 

He paused at the door holding the handle. 

Images of ian passed out in the snow. So cold his fingers were going numb, Ian in a tank top thrown to the side of the club like trash. 

His stomach dropped and his chest ached.  
He shook it away. He pushed it down. He was going to find that asshole if it was the last thing he ever did. 

He didn't have a car so he stole one. 

A few shitty ones lined the street, should be easy to break into.  
His mind calmed as he carefully got to work.

He was going to be back before the sun rose so they wouldn't be missed for very long. No one here got up early, half this street was drug dealers or thieves.

The door was easy enough to pry open. The keys were even left in the car. No one wants to steal this POS. It might not even make it across town. 

The engine sputtered, black smoke rose from the hood, but it still drove. He looked around at the car. The seats had some black stickey substance and the cupholders were filled with trash. It smelled like a mix of balls and mold. Maybe there was a dead body in the trunk...

He decided to first swing by Ian's work.  
His anxiety rose with each passing mile. 

He screeched into the parking lot, it was a well lit clinic, hard to miss.  
Ian's car wasn't there.  
His heart dropped to the floor. Time froze as he tried to process what exactly was happening.  
He was sure he would see it, he was sure it was a big mistake. It wasn't a mistake. Where could he be...why...

He parked the car almost jumping out until an ambulance pulled infront of him.  
He only had the door half opened but could hear people shouting commands.  
'Start chest compressions!'  
'Give him oxygen!'  
'Hes improving!'

He watched a familiar red head jump out of the back doors helping haul someone in the building that was strapped to a stretcher. 

Flashing lights filled the place. The loud roar of the siren deafened him. That was unmistakably Ian. 

If he looked up he would have seen Mickey, now standing in the parking lot clutching his chest leaning against the car door almost sobbing with relief. 

He had to take rapid gulps of air before he could get back into the car. He had to stop his hands from shaking before he could turn the keys.  
The car moved and he felt okay enough to drive back home.

He drove around to get out of the clinic parking lot. There Ian's car was, parked in the very back corner.  
Of course.

He felt insane.  
He should just trust him...  
It's been years...  
~~~~~

He parked the car in front of the half broken down house. He left the keys where he found them inside of the car.

"Clean your fucking trash mobile," he wrote in the dirt that coated the windshield. 

Quietly he grabbed some toast and went back upstairs. He was emotionally and physically exhausted. He clicked Ian's phone into the charger and fell into bed. Face first he let the exhaustion take over.  
~~~

"Mickey." He heard a voice say, waking him up.

He rolled over and the sun was flooding the room. Everything was to bright for him to focus on. He reached out finding asolid mass, one that took his hand. 

All the tension in his bones melted.  
"Ian" he mouthed silently as the man rolled on top if him. 

Lazily their mouths moved together. 

Ian's full weight pushing on him felt more like a comfort. Like a big blanket, a realness. His heartbeat against his chest, his breath filling his lungs. Mickey could feel all of it.

Inhale. Exhale. Thump thump thump. 

You're alive, I'm alive. You're right here. Right here with me.  
He let himself feel every movement every feeling that ran though him. The hip bones that pressed into him, the hardness of Ian's arms, the small twinges of electricity that ran though his body.  
Intoxicated he wanted more. 

He gasped with the next kiss. A sharp inhale, maybe Ian could breath for both of them? He savored the way Ian's teeth grazed his, how Ian took a long deep inhale of Mickey's hair, how he felt more alive now than he had in the first 15 years of his life. 

Mickey tugged at Ian's boxers, his eyes still closed living up in the clouds.

"Not today, sorry the meds..."Ian said shamefully.

Mickey opened his eyes to see those green eyes turn from him. He tilted his face back to him and gave him a reassuring kiss. He wanted to say 'its fine' but he knew in Ian's eyes it wasn't. So instead he tried to show him that it was okay with kisses or smiles, or reassuring touches. 

Their foreheads pressed together as the hazy fog started lifting. They left eachother with a smile.  
Ian rolled next to him grabbing his phone that Mickey had charged.

"I was looking for this!" 

It was probably noon by the way the room was lit up. Memories of last nights fiasco flooded him.

"Where were you?" He blurted out.

"I had to work a double." His voice was thick with exhaustion. He clicked the phone a few times setting it back down. 

Ian let out a big yawn while sprawling out. "Did you miss me?" He turned to face him propping his elbow up. "I thought you would bust in my work." He smiled amused. 

"I have to tell you something."  
Mickey let out a sigh, he wasnt wrong. Right? Was he crazy? Today he seemed irrational but last night he couldn't just sit there and wait.

Ian stared at him wide eyed and serious, like he was about to confess murder.

"I drove to your work last night t-to make sure," he cast his eyes down playing with the sheet, "that you weren't with someone else." He raised his eyebrows quickly looking over. "I was also worried you were in a ditch somewhere."

"Jesus Mickey!" he closed his eyes. His head fell back into the pillow, he clamped his hands over his face letting out an exasperated sigh. 

"Wait, what did you think I was going to say?"

Ian rubbed his forhead with his fingertips. "I dont know that you fucked some dude, murdered someone, that your lea-." 

"Leaving you?" Mickeys brows furrowed "Why the hell would I leave you Ian?"  
Didn't they just talk about this? Also murder??

Ian sat up criss cross on the bed pushing his lips together in a hard line. He had purple bags under his eyes and his face looked extra pale. Maybe he had some coke stashed away that could get Ian through the day.

"I dont know let me get the fucking list.  
I have to take meds that sometimes make my dick limp at the worst possible times, if I get off my meds I'm batshit, we live in a small room, sometimes I work for days at a time, I left my fucking phone because I keep losing my shit. I keep losing every fucking thing because I've been working so much, they just fired someone and have yet to replace them! So when I'm not working I have to deal with this bullshit, along with everyone else's bullshit, and taking a phone to work is the last thing on my fucking mind! " Ian visibly exhaled. He fell back into the bed and stared at the ceiling. His jaw was clenched and his fingers dug into the bed.

He didn't know Ian was so wound up. He didn't show it at all. He came home everyday acting as happy as a clam.

"I'm not fucking anyone." Ian spit out. "Even if I wanted to I haven't been able to get it up for a week. As. You. Know." 

He wanted to say sorry but he wasn't sorry for checking on his boyfriend, should he be?

"Look, you left your phone. It was 2am, I went to look for you." Mickey scooted closer grabbing his hand. "If you need to get shit off your chest you know im-"

Ian looked over his eyes glossy. "I haven't fucked any guys, I come home every single night unless I'm working. I'm in this bed every goddamn morning." Ian looked like he was about to cry. 

"I'm sorry. " Mickey blurted out. This time he meant it. He was being an idiot, Ian wasn't that guy anymore. They both grew the fuck up and he needed to understand, Ian needed him to. Both of them were so good at going too fucking far and being overly dramatic.

He would say anything, do anything, to make him feel better. I'll suck your limp ass dick, wear pink underwear, live in the hallway. Anything to make Ian not look like a sad puppy. 

"Its not you Mick. I just.. need to rest.." he let our exasperated.

"You can talk to me about this stuff."

Ian nodded closing his eyes.  
Mickey curled around him scratching his head.  
It took seconds for him to fall into a sleep. 

He worked almost 20 hours, he could have at least waited to talk to him. He felt guilty as hell. 

Ian's face was sereine, finally resting  
He wondered what he drempt of..bunch of fucking cocks probably. He laughed at the thought.

Selfishly he wished he woke up soon, even if they were arguing at least it's some time together. It was strange to have someone around 24/7 then suddenly only have 5 hours a day with them, if that. 

Mickey kissed Ian's forhead, could he feel the comfort in his dreams. He stayed next to him on his phone for hours, letting the day pass. Looking up every so often. Just being next to him was enough... just being able to reach out and touch him.

Finally after his stomach rumbled desperately he decided to get up. 

He jumped up stripping for his shower. Leaving his dirty clothes throw across the room.

He let the water run hot. He used Ian's soap, he loved the smell but usually got some snark when he did use it.  
'You smell funny, stop using my fucking soap.' He knew he didn't really care but they both found it amusing.

Kitchen empty, money empty, fridge only had beer. 

Beer it is. 

He drank while scouring the house for change. He actually found $4 in change and a $10 under the couch. 

Score. 

He realized he was drunk when he leaned down to tie his shoe and almost fell face first into the door.

He walked down the sidewalk and had the undeniable urge to touch a tree leaf. It was red and the first sign of fall, he plucked it examining its multitude of colors. He couldn't remember the last time he saw the trees change.  
He shoved the leaf in his pocket. The one that wasnt filled with beer cans.

Beer on an empty stomach probably wasn't the best idea but it made finding money fun and his walk seemed a lot more pleasant, he barely even noticed the piss smell under the bridge. 

He finished off his 4th beer and chucked it in some lady's trashcan.  
'Stop littering Mickey!' Ian's voice appeared in his head. 'Grow the fuck up and use a garbage can.' Stupid little hippy, he smiled.

The first thing he grabbed was bananas, ian ate them like candy. Eggs, ham. He stopped at the flowers. They were pretty and shit.. a few were orange. He added up the money in his head.

He leaned over taking a deep inhale. They were sweet and nice, Ian would love them.  
He wondered if he could just steal them but decided to walk away. Going back to prision for flowers, for lifting shit....

'Stop being stupid,' He thought.

Bread, peanutbutter. That could get them by for a bit. 

$13.75 perfect.  
He used the extra quarter to get a gumball. 

He swayed while walking back home, the bags weightless in his arms.  
Do do do do do, he hummed, blowing out a huge pink bubble.

Fuck he felt good.


	5. Chapter 5

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Mickey let's go of the anger he was holding onto.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I worked all day on this oh my. I think I just wanted to get it done, sorry about the mistakes. I rewrote it so much I kept forgetting what I wrote. 
> 
> Warning: drug use. Using sex as a coping method, angry sex. Smutty-ishh.

He didn't burn anything... not because debbie helped. Not. At. All. 

"Can you PLEASE stop trying to burn the eggs!" Debbie grabbed his spatula rapidly flipping the eggs over. He half expected her to hit him.

"Well I was just about to flip it!" He lied

"Sure!" Debbie said sarcastically, giving him back the spatula. 

He started frying up the ham.

"Ian would kill me if you set yourself on fire." She scoffed.

"I dont need a babysitter." He lied again.

"Mmm-breakfast is done." he smiled.

"Its 6pm" debbie added. 

"Do you not want any of this shit?"

Debbie grabbed a plate ignoring his comment and sat down with Franny. The kid smiled up at him clapping her hands 'food!'

"I'll cook dinner tomorrow. Maybe you can help me?" She offered.

"You need to buy some shit first. I had to look for change for an hour to get this. " He gestured to the pans full of food.

"I'll leave you some cash to go shopping later." 

They made a good team, her yelling at him was actually kind of comforting. He liked people that didnt take his shit.

Heavy footsteps hit the floor. His heart kicked up. Ian's hair was a mess from all the sleep, his shirt hung off of his shoulder, his pants hung off his hip unbuttoned. He did a double take before grabbing food.

"Hey" Mickey smiled with two plates of food held out. His faced burned.

Ian grinned from ear to ear "Are you drunk?"  
He grabbed the food putting it on the table. 

Mickey took a step and swayed leaning on the counter.

"Your drunk ass made everyone food, no shit?" Ian steadied him helping him over to the table.

"Mickeys going to be the new house cook." Debbie said. 

It was probably a bad idea but he felt so nice he didn't care that she offered him up like that. He actually enjoyed cooking but he wasn't going to admit that.

Mickey reached into his pocket grabbing the bright red leaf. He set it in a little glass cup that was in the middle of the table. He set it up like it was a grand bouquet of flowers.

He smiled stupidly at his little leaf. 

Ian chuckled watching him.  
"Are you high?" 

Mickey rapidly shook his head. "No."

"You did try and burn your hand, that would explain it." Debbie said. 

Franny excitedly pointed at the leaf while chewing on ham. 

The kid gets it, he thought. 

"Okay I might have accidently turned on the wrong burner and almost leaned against it before she... saved me.." he rolled his eyes.

"Thanks Debs." Ian took another bite of his food.

"Waking up at night feels weird" Ian admitted. "It leaves me feeling all fuzzy, like I can't think straight."

"I got some coke." He suggested outright.

"I get randomly drug tested remember." 

"It's out of your system in three days." Debbie happily added. 

"I'm not saying let's do lines all day, just enough to keep you from feeling like shit."  
He thought about Ian almost breaking down last night. "Will it mess with your meds?"

"No it will not." Ian confidently said. "Fuck it." Ian rinsed his plate off. "I'm off for the next three days anyways." 

Mickey rifled through a black backpack in their closet and pulled out the small baggy. 

"Just enough to keep you awake, maybe feel a bit better."

Ian rolled up a small slip of paper and before Mickey could say anything Ian made a thick line railing it before he could open his mouth.

"Small." Mickey said with a blank face. "Just...enough, isnt that what I said?" 

"What, that's not small? Well I'm awake now." 

"You're going to be up for days if you have any more." 

"Drunk Mickey sure is judgemental. I'm a big guy remember." Ian spun around in a computer chair that was propped against the far corner of the room.  
'When the hell did that get there.' He thought.

"Three days off huh?" Mickey fell/sat on their bed. "What do you wanna do? Besides snort all my blow." he joked. 

"Whatever you want baby." Ian said in a fake sultry voice.

"Baby?" Mickey was taken aback. 

"You don't like me calling you baby?" Ian walked over to the bed.

"No." He simply said.

"What and fire crotch sounds amazing? "

"You like that shit!"

"Okay babbbbyyy."He played.

Ian crawled to him poking his ribs. Mickey shot him an unamused look.  
He poked and prodded again until Mickey was rolling around with laughter.  
"I want to prove my love to you." Ian said wiggling his eyebrows.

Ian pushed him to his back, sliding his hands under his shirt impressively getting it over his head with almost no effort.  
In a swift motion Mickeys legs were spread open, Ian's body neatly fitting between them.  
Now if only his pants were off...

"You're quick. "

"I have no idea why."

Ian's hands moved in all the right ways making him shudder. His mouth found his stomach leaving kisses in places that made him unapologetically hard. 

He loved it, he loved it so much, this craving he had that only Ian could satisfy. The way Ian took him over. The way he could give up all his inhibition without thought. He knew it would be okay. Ian would make him feel good, Ian would take him exactly where he needed to go. 

"Ian ian ian." He whispered. Hands traced his hips, up his torso, over his chest. "Ian." He pleaded.

"What's wrong Mickey?" Ian said teasing ghosting his mouth over his neck. His soft lips grazed his jaw. How did he not realize how wound up he was? 

"You're a tease Gallagher." He said impatiently. 

"Me!" He said feigning offence. He wrapped him up to give him a hard quick kiss, "you walk around all day looking like this and I'm a tease!" 

Ian kissed him a million times playfully all over his face.  
"Those arms, those legs. Oh! Those shoulders!" They both laughed wrestling in the bed.

"Should I wear a bag all day then?" Mickey laughed. 

Somehow in all their pushing and shoving Mickey ended up straddling Ian pining his arms down under his knees. Ian lightly pushed against him trying to break free.

"I love the way you think that you could actually pin me down."

Mickey pushed his knees down harder. 

Ian devoured him with his eyes "You look good ontop of me."

Ian never complimented him outright it usually earned him a light shove but in this state it was actually pretty great. His faced burned hot with each word. 

"What else?" He raised an eyebrow watching Ian's face go from surpise to a smile.

Ian eyed him up and down landing on various parts of his body. He opened his mouth a few times before his eyes rested on Mickeys mouth.

"I love your voice."

"My voice?" 

He always thought his voice was unpleasant, too rough, too loud, nothing for anyone to like yet alone love.

"Yeah." He said truthfully, he thought for a second. "It makes me happy."

His head was spinning "tease" he repeated in a whisper. 

Ian pushed him over, easily breaking free from Mickeys grip. Mickey playfully fought against him. He wiggled and got himself out of a hold just to be put into another one. 

"Mickey." Ian said softly, stilling him instantly. 

He fell into his gaze. Green eyes studying his face, his playful smile falling into a loving gaze.

Ian gave him a deep kiss tilting his jaw up, opening his mouth up sliding a thumb over his bottom lip before replacing it with his tounge. 

He pressed his hips against Mickey creating a slow light friction. 

"I love your mouth." Ian said in a hushed tone.

Mickey twitched in his shorts.

Ian raised an eyebrow obviously able to feel the jump. His gaze narrowed on Mickey's face watching the small gasps escape his mouth. 

"I love your dick." Ian pushed down harder. His breath became ragged as he teased. "I love when you cum." 

Fuck.  
He couldn't help but close his eyes pushing his head back into the pillow. He ran towards the feeling. He was suffocating, he needed it so bad.

How long had it been? A week, maybe two? 

He craned up to bury his face in Ian's shoulder. He was so close just from this friction. He couldn't pull himself away. 

"Oh baby." Ian encouraged.

He really didn't like it. The feeling lessened. Poof just like that he was almost soft.

"Stop calling me that Ian." He demanded.

Immediately Ian stopped his movements.

Truth was, it reminded him of Ian's stripping days. Baby to everyone, hunny, sweety. He hated it. It made his stomach churn, those memories. Staying up all hours wondering who Ian was fucking. If he would ever come home. $20 gets you a dance hun, he recalled. Ian using his fake sickly sweet voice at the dance club, baby honey sweety. Fuck. He could puke. 

"Okay, okay, sorry." Ian could obviously see the disgust in his face.

"Its fine... just fucking take your clothes off." He lied. It was not fine, but he could deal with it later. 

He tried to focus on Ian's hands and not at the nagging feeling in the back of his mind. He tried to turn his thoughts off. Tried to throw himself into the movement of Ian's body. 

Eventually it worked. He channeled his anger into his hips and his spite into his kisses. 

Bruises bloomed under his finger tips. He marked his skin with his mouth. His legs pushed him down harder and faster. He was frantic and rough trying to encourage Ian to match his pace.

"Jesus mickey," Ian gasped into his ear as Mickey pushed his hips back forcefully.  
It didnt take long for Ian to start unraveling. 

"Ah..ah ahh." Ian grunted. He spilled inside of him and slowed to a stop.

Mickeys legs hooked around his hips. He wasn't done with him, not in the least.  
He gave Ian a second to breath and pushed himself down encouraging him to start moving.

Ian's mouth hung open as Mickey moved slowly against him. 

"Mick." He moaned "slow down." Ian clasped his hands on Mickeys hips stopping his movements. "I need a second just.." ian inhaled a sharp breath. "Hold on."

He was hungry, he was desperate, he felt half crazed. He thought about what he really was after... What he really wanted. He wanted it to hurt, he wanted to feel it for weeks. 

Ian started to move.

The realization broke open something in him.

Fuck you he wanted to say. Fuck you for all the bullshit you put me through. Fuck you for loving me and still hurting me. Fuck you for making me feel like I was alone.

Their eyes met, his anger being mistaken for want. His forcefullness being mistaken for desperation. 

Ian picked up the pace matching the roughness that Mickey wanted. Ian gave him exactly what he needed.

Ian left marks on his neck. He held Mickeys arms down. He felt bruises form under Ian's grip. It felt fucking fantastic.

He trembled when Ian's hand lightly pressed down on his throat. He let everything go he only knew the feelings that were being pulled out of him through Ian's hands, his mouth, his body.

He slammed into him over and over again leaving Mickey gasping for air. Unrecognizable sounds ripped out of him. He was completely undone. 

He came, hard. Soreness mixed with the pleasure of his release. It was euphoric. It was bliss. 

Briefly he floated away, not a care in the world.  
All too soon he came back limb by limb inch by inch he had to face the world again.

All the anger and hurt started to drain away.  
There's no need to hold onto it. There's no reason, so he let it float away. It left him and for a brief moment he felt empty before he let everything else flood in.

He opened his eyes to see Ian's smiling face looking down at him. This was everything else..  
Someone that brought him lunch, fixed his cuts, held him at night, someone who knew him better than he knew himself. Someone who would do anything to keep him safe. Someone who has done everything to keep him safe.

Ian didn't need to prove anything, he had already proved himself 1000 times over  
He was just too blind to see it. 

He thought about the last ten years. Everything they had been though. All the blood, the pain, the begging, and crying. Clawing their way through life. They fought though literal hell for eachother.  
Being so starved for each other that they both went crazy. Being apart for so long that he thought he would die. But when they found eachother again it was like something ignited, something that would never burn out. He felt it, it was always there. He was sure Ian felt it too.

Ian wouldn't hurt him again. They were safe and they were together. He couldn't see it before but now it was clear. It took him way too long to realize that this was the finish line. Here. Right here, in the arms of the man he loved. 

The world got quiet. He could still feel the way their first kiss felt. It was a ghost on his lips.

He turned his face away feeling the hot tears run.

"Are you.. crying!? Are you okay?! Did I hurt you, I'm sorry!" Ian looked mortified.

Mickey couldn't speak he was too overwhelmed. 

Without missing a beat Ian grabbed him up pulling him in his lap wrapping his arms around him gently rocking him in an embrace.

"I'm done playing this game." Mickey admitted.

Ian face twisted in confusion.

His tears came to an end. His breathing slowed. He pressed his hot cheek against Ian's cool chest. He unwrapped his arms from Ian's neck.

"I'm sorry Mickey! I'm so sorry! I thought we were getting too rough but I didnt think-"

"It wasn't that." He said wiping the tears off his face. 

Ian released him from his lap. They sat face to face on the bed. Ian eagerly waiting for an explanation. Mickey sitting collecting himself. 

His face burned with the sting of dried tears. His neck ached with each mark. His wrists even felt sore from being pinned. 

"Where would you be if I never came back?" He asked. 

"What?"

"What if I never left Mexico? What if I decided to stay there forever?"

"I dont know... I never thought about it before." Ian fidgeted uncomfortably.

Mickey waited. 

"Unhappy." He simply said looking to the side. "Alone or with some fuck up that didn't really give a shit about me." Ian's brows furrowed with the realization.

Ian looked up thinking harder. His body relaxed leaning back on the palms of his hands. 

Mickey waited again watching the wheels turn.

Ian then leaned forward, giving him a long hard look. "I would be waiting for you to come find me."


End file.
